I’m sorry I haven’t posted anything in what seems to be donkeys years but now I am making it up to you and I’m gonna post every other day and let you all know what I’ve been up to.
I have just started my first year in university for the second time after a study year off. I have been in university for 2 weeks now and I can’t believe how different it is to last year!!!
Last year it was such a struggle, I couldn’t make any friends, I was unprepared for my courses and I didn’t have the energy to do anything now so much has changed!!
This year I came prepared with reading about my subjects and studying before I came and receiving more knowledge on my depression and how to deal with it and how to identify if I’m getting to tired or starting to go down hill so I can stop it before I fall off track, my determination to do well has come back, I’m much more organised, I have the help that I was promised this time as well as Matt there to help me and the teachers understanding my individual needs and helping me more but most importantly my attitude has changed for the better!
I will actually ask for help if I’m stuck instead of being too proud and comparing myself to others, I am not conscious about my disability and constantly thinking that people won’t make friends with me because of it, they don’t have to know and if they do want to know and treat me differently because of it, it’s their problem not mine, I’m
Not ashamed of my condition it’s a part of who I am, yes it has negatives, it makes my life more difficult but out of these difficulties it makes me more determined to do well and a much stronger person.
I have made 3 very good friends in college already, I have been complimented on my progress so far, I have been studying in and out of class and I had my first assessment yesterday which I think I did well on.
The only thing I need to change is my confidence, I need more confidence in what I can do and my appearance, if u have that I think I will panic less when completing my assessments and panic less thinking about my exams coming up after Christmas.
My family and partner believe I can do it so I guess that’s all I need:)
I still do get panic attacks every other day before going to college on the bus and do have confidence issues but that I am still working on!
If you lot have any advise about that I would be mega grateful but I hope you are all well and have enjoyed reading this article about my progress.
Much love xx
Faye xx 👸