I have had an ipod for a while and for the past few weeks I’ve been listening to some podcasts about science, politics, government, then I came across one called ‘a quiet mind’, so I thought I would give it a try and I did.
It was such an amazing podcast, the man’s voice was so soft, so gentle and it immediately made me feel relaxed and I quietly paid attention to his voice and what he was saying.
What he was saying was totally true, everyone thinks that once you; have a good job, complete uni, be rich or famous then only then you will be happy.
With me I have always thought that once I have completed University, got a successful job, married and with kids then I will be happy, but that doesn’t need to be the case….
I can be happy now! If I carry on thinking each day about everything that I have to do in order to be happy and how long it is going to take I am never going to be happy and every day will seem like a difficult task/day.
What this man was saying is that you can be happy now, that you have everything around you to be happy now, all the problems that you have or diffculties you simply add on to it, because only if you think your happy will you deal with these problems properly.
And I did think to myself: I have a wonderful Fiancee who is always there to support me, I have a loving and giving family around me, Me and Matt are starting our future together in Liverpool next year and I’m starting University again, my memory is getting better, I’m gradually making progress with recovering after my relapse and I am getting all the help I need (finally) off KIM and from the government via my jobseekers so now I can start saving for my future!
So yes I can be happy! I am happy!
Yes I struggle everyday with my illness and the difficulties in life that hit me hard but if I continue to say to myself I am happy then maybe I have a glimmer of hope that it won’t get on top of me and make me ill again.