Long time no speak, tough struggle, I hope it’s worth it.

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Well now I am in semester 2 of my course and I haven’t posted anything for aggessss.. Because I was sorta ashamed of semester 1 I worked very hard.. Considering I had never done a levels before and I’m in a foundation course which is a levels and everyone else has done a levels, I passed 1 exam but didn’t quite pass the others, this time around I have tried even harder and I just hope it is worth it and this time I pass although they are coming so soon and I can’t help to doubt myself but I did that last time and I think I worked myself up so much I encouraged myself to fail. I don’t want to get in the same way again any advice???

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My progress in uni so far at the end of semester 1

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Hey guys, how are you all?
I’m sorry I haven’t posted on here for a while I have been mega busy and i can’t wait to tell all of u what I’ve been up to :)

I’ve been in my foundation year for almost a full semester now and I can’t believe how far I have come!!
For all of u that don’t no I have returned back to uni after the failure of last year and I am doing a foundation year that will lead me to a normal 3 year course within the university of Liverpool.
I am doing biology, chemistry, microbiolgy and half maths which are all at a levels which I’ve never done a levels before so I knew it was going to be hard for me.
I moved away from home for the second time but with my partner in student flats, he came to support me.

Well I’m heading towards the end of my semester 1, I break up on the 16th of December which yes I know is early lol.
I have so much to tell you….

Well when I started I was extremely nervous,… But as soon as I started I starting to gain some confidence and quickly made friends unlike next time and for once I didn’t take my condition into account when communicating with other people. The classes were very informative, interesting and A LOT to take in at first but once I read through the information and took it all in through writing my own notes I realised it wasn’t as hard as I thought it was.
I have been handed many assignments and test and I’ve got to admit I didn’t do well at them at first because my anxiety took over and I panicked and didn’t pay attention to the questions and answered them wrongly whereas in my chemistry I didn’t do so well at first because of my lack of knowledge. I have put a lot of extra effort to gain more knowledge of the subject and today I got the highest grade in my chemistry write up so far (59%) it might not be as high as everyone elSe but I am not comparing myself to everyone else for me this is good, if I just improve and learn how to process my data correctly after practicals I should get 80-90% next time which I’m really pleased and I’ve just done a biology test and assignment which I feel I have done really well on and I should get 50%+ on them :) so I am gradually improving.
The amount of understanding I am getting from the staff at my college and help is amazing I feel that they are actually trying to help me pass, as a disabled student I’ve never received this much support, I get help from college staff as well as my own personal support tutor who is brilliant at giving me exam and revision tips and to talk to if I have any worries.
University this time has been a lot easier but it is incredibly hard at the same time. My day is so incredibly long and the amount of information that I have to take in and process is incredible, my chronic fatigue has been acting up more than it has ever done, but I am learning to identify when I am getting tired or irritable or it is affecting my health and I try and take actions to stop it over tiring me because if I get over tired it takes me 3 days to recover- with plenty of sleep and rest.
My depression is still acting up, at first I was quite depressed because of a girl in my class taking the mick out of me and making me feel in superior to me but I soon realised this was due to her wanting to be the centre of attention so I let her be the leader of the group and now she is fine with me.

When I first started college I was taking on too much at once and working a full day at college and all night as well but towards the end of this semester I have learnt that I need to balance uni work with taking time to enjoy myself and relax which I have been doing…

I have recently found out about a local friends of earth group that I have joined and the people there are so nice and I can do activities I enjoy and talk to people with the same interests as me and learn so much knowledge about the environment and I have also joined my colleges Eco group which I am going to tomorrow afternoon, I am looking forward to doing something good and constructive outside of my uni work.

My confidence is starting to increase over all but it is still a long way to go….

I will let you know wat I am doing via friends of earth very soon if u are interested :) xxxx

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A new year, a new start, a more positive attitude in life 2nd time around

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Hey guys,
I’m sorry I haven’t posted anything in what seems to be donkeys years but now I am making it up to you and I’m gonna post every other day and let you all know what I’ve been up to.

I have just started my first year in university for the second time after a study year off. I have been in university for 2 weeks now and I can’t believe how different it is to last year!!!

Last year it was such a struggle, I couldn’t make any friends, I was unprepared for my courses and I didn’t have the energy to do anything now so much has changed!!

This year I came prepared with reading about my subjects and studying before I came and receiving more knowledge on my depression and how to deal with it and how to identify if I’m getting to tired or starting to go down hill so I can stop it before I fall off track, my determination to do well has come back, I’m much more organised, I have the help that I was promised this time as well as Matt there to help me and the teachers understanding my individual needs and helping me more but most importantly my attitude has changed for the better!

I will actually ask for help if I’m stuck instead of being too proud and comparing myself to others, I am not conscious about my disability and constantly thinking that people won’t make friends with me because of it, they don’t have to know and if they do want to know and treat me differently because of it, it’s their problem not mine, I’m
Not ashamed of my condition it’s a part of who I am, yes it has negatives, it makes my life more difficult but out of these difficulties it makes me more determined to do well and a much stronger person.

I have made 3 very good friends in college already, I have been complimented on my progress so far, I have been studying in and out of class and I had my first assessment yesterday which I think I did well on.

The only thing I need to change is my confidence, I need more confidence in what I can do and my appearance, if u have that I think I will panic less when completing my assessments and panic less thinking about my exams coming up after Christmas.

My family and partner believe I can do it so I guess that’s all I need:)

I still do get panic attacks every other day before going to college on the bus and do have confidence issues but that I am still working on!

If you lot have any advise about that I would be mega grateful but I hope you are all well and have enjoyed reading this article about my progress.

Much love xx
Faye xx 👸