Sorry I haven’t been posting for a few weeks it has been hectic!
But now I finally have some time to catch you up with whats been happening.
Firstly after all my hard work, I finally got a job, I went through 3-4 weeks of training, made my first sale and i was getting really good at my job working as a Sales Advisor in an Insurance Company, but as soon as i told the company about my illness everything went downhill. They sent me home for a week claiming that there was no work for me because they had messed the computer system up and they would call me when they wanted me back in, so one week later….I tried contacting them and they wouldn’t talk to me over the phone so I emailed the HR Manager and the following Monday I finally got a reply saying:
’ As we previously advised we have not any work for you, so we are letting you go with immediate effect!’
Although they are advertising for full time and PART TIME jobs, so why couldn’t they keep me on.
So I strongly suspect that they got rid of me because my disability. They were making me work more hours than I signed up for on my contract, they failed on several occasions to adjust the workplace to my needs and all this happens….so I am currently trying to make a claim on it, which is proving very stressful and obviously I am still absolutely gutted about it and to top it off I have to sign back onto Jobseekers Allowance and I reallllyyy don’t want to look for jobs after this has just happened, it has really knocked my confidence in looking for work.
On a lighter note…… I have been looking forward to my holiday abroad with my family to Turkey. (I will be going on the 16th June and don’t worry I’ll put all my pics on here and fill you in on what I’ve been up to.)
And while looking forward to my holiday I have decided to work on my self esteem and confidence. I just thought to myself one morning, maybe I would feel better about myself if I make more of an effort to look nice, stop caring about what people think of me and just be myself, I can do it when I’m abroad so why can’t I do it now?
So I have done my nails (I actually have nails, which make me feel much more girly), I’ve dyed my hair and I’m getting it cut short as when its short I love it and it does make me feel more confident in myself and I’m starting to wear more girly clothes, take more time to figure out my outfits, make an effort over my appearance, obviously I’m not perfect, I’m trying to loose weight, I need to go to the sun bed to reduce my scaring on my back before my holidays.
I do still have my off days, but I’m trying to be less negative about myself, I’m trying to think more positively about myself, be kinder to myself and ignore that horrible negative voice in my head and it seems to be working.
I hope I can carry on with this progress!
I am doing a lot to help myself feel better but there is only so much I can do, I am still battling to get help from someone, I went to the doctors and they increased my citopram to 20mg and after 3 weeks they want to increase it again to 40mg which I am a bit cautious about…I have phoned my local mental health hospital, well my mum did as they won’t listen to me and keep fobbing me off because I’m too soft and finally I got an answer, they realized how seriously I need help and I should be hearing from them soon regarding getting me some help, well I hope I do, if not I will chase it up again! ¬¬
I think I might try meditating again. My head is so busy I need a way just to shut it up sometimes.
So that’s whats been going on with me…what have you all been up to???